The 5 Stages


The sound of familiarity blocked her ears, refusing to let go. Leeching on, and the longer its grip held, the further away she felt herself drift.
The feeling that encased her though, lacked that warm, intimate embrace. All alone, why should it become her burden when she hadn’t been responsible for it. They had laid silent for moments on end as if to try to guide her to land in her realisation. Her own acceptance. A part of her she had never acknowledged its renowned existence because she simply never felt she had to.

A strange love, so bittersweet in itself but just so that she can’t get enough of it. One step, then two. Turning into 3, then a leap. She chased it like an addict, so desperate to feel that warmth of her past, of which no longer exists. A ghost in the wind, one that only lingers as a memory, latching onto the hearts of those whose sorrows weigh them down. The sweetest melody in a world of disgrace, that caused even the angels to sing their disapproval. Where was the compassion? The sympathy? She feels, stolen, angry, unjustified.
The gaze of a young girl stares back at her, allowing her to only see so much disappointment. All the dreams of that same little girl taken. Taken by everything and everyone, but most of all, by herself.


There was no one else she could have put this upon, so she took it. Becoming barely a wisp of who she was. No longer seeing that same little girl in her reflection but now, someone who she didn’t recognise. Someone who had chosen their life path in a blur. This isn’t someone she wanted to be, so why couldn’t she fight this delusion that reduced her of her full potential? That disgraced her name? This was only the beginning, she still had plenty of time to decide who she was. But to her, this version loomed over her, reminding her of what she knew she could never escape, contradicting all her beliefs and all she worked to become. Now stuck in the in-between, where should she belong in this world of divided two?

So then, she ran
Trying to outrun her reality,
And escape this person that follows in her shadow.
Until finally
She reached an edge
An edge of nothing and everything.
An edge of which the light of the earth seemed to end
She advanced carefully, considerately
Maybe this edge was a simple way out? No more time needed thinking over it all

But she looked down. She looked down to watch the replay of her life. She watched herself grow, into a completely different person than who she had seen in that reflection. A person that everyone believed her to be. A person that she completely adored.
She took another look below to see, the chance for her to begin again
The chance to start over, to alter the course of her life and who she was
but would she take it?


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