If You had a Dad Like Mine, You’d do the Same

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Hi, I’m Lucy. Get some popcorn and settle down because my story is bonkers. Don’t forget to like and subscribe to MSA. 

My childhood was crazy. Mom was super strict and was always breathing down my neck to make sure I followed all her dumb house rules. 

– (Mom) Lucy, this placemat is 0.5 inches to the left. I’m so disappointed in you.

– (Lucy) Seriously? 

I got no dessert because of freaking placemats and Dad was a complete weirdo. He stayed in his study all day long and only left at night with a suspicious looking briefcase.

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But whenever I asked him what was in it, he would always tell me to mind my own business. So rude. 

One day I was playing football by myself in the park when two mean-looking men grabbed my ball and squished all the air out of it. 

– (Lucy) Hey, are you stupid? You’re supposed to kick the ball, not squish it.

– (Men) She’s a little firecracker. Where’s your Dad, little girl? He owes us an apology.

– (Lucy) Why? Who are you? And what did my Dad do to you? 

– (Men) You asked too many questions. Let’s just say your father isn’t a very nice man. Selfie. 

And they took pictures with me and left. What was going on? I ran home and confronted Dad. He looked panicked, but told me it was no big deal but I wasn’t going to let it go. That night, I sneaked out of my room like a ninja and tried to get into Dad’s study but suddenly a loud alarm went off and red lights flashed all over the house. I nearly jumped out of my skin in fright. Dad was so furious. He made me write 200 times, “I will mind my own business.” But the next day he was gone. I looked for him everywhere and called him but his phone was off and I felt guilty. Had he left because of me? But Mom refused to talk about him. 

– (Lucy) Aren’t you even a little bit worried about Dad? He’s missing.

– (Mom) He’s a grown man. I’m sure he can take care of himself. 

– (Lucy) People said he’s a bad man. What did he do?

– (Mom) What have I told you about listening to idle gossip and straightening your back?

Ugh, she was the worst. Rather than go to the police and file a report, she moved us to a new city. I was so mad at her that I stopped showering for a week, then I accidentally smelled my own armpits and nearly fainted, so I finally took a bath. But I stopped doing chores according to her ridiculous rules. 

– (Mom) Lucy, I told you to dry the laundry, not dye it. 

– (Lucy) Oops. But I was only getting started. I always put the forks and knives in different drawers around the house after washing them and screwed up the TV remote so it wouldn’t work properly. I dyed my hair orange and got fake piercings and tattoos but told her they were real. She was so upset, she got me enrolled in an insanely strict school.

– (Mom) They have uniforms and rules. I’m sure they’ll knock some sense into you. 

– (Lucy) Not if I knock them over first. 

St. Mary’s was a mansion with super rich kids. The lawns were perfectly kept and the halls were so clean. They shone like diamonds. But I got in trouble on the very first day.

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I was putting my books in my locker when suddenly someone threw a hoodie in my face. 

– (A girl) Wear this, your ugly face is gonna make me vomit. 

– (Lucy) Then look somewhere else creep. 

– (A girl) This is a respectable school. We don’t want people like you, so you better clean up. 

She knocked the milkshake out of my hand and pushed me down in the mess. I saw red. I was about to get up and slap this crazy witch when suddenly a boy came running down the hall and stood between us. 

– (Boy) Picking on the new kid on the first day. You’re really desperate for attention, aren’t you Crystal? 

– (Crystal) Mind your own business Anthony, this is my school, not your Dad’s office. What I say goes.

– (Athony) Maybe I should give him a call and we’ll see who really runs this school. 

Crystal looked furious. She flipped her hair and left with her minions and Anthony helped

me up. 

– (Athony) Hey, I’m sorry about Crystal. Just because she’s the principal’s daughter, she thinks she can boss everyone around.

– (Lucy) Thanks for coming in like a knight in shining armor. 

– (Athony) I always wanted to save a damsel in distress. 

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– (Lucy) Oh, you didn’t save me. You saved her from me. 

But the teachers at the school were like Mom Promax. They gave detention for everything. Need to sharpen your pencil twice a day, detention. Spend more than five minutes in the bathroom, detention. The last straw for me was when one of the teachers took away my bag of candies and threw them in the trash. 

– (Teacher) Just keep your candy at home.

– (Lucy) Mom is a bigger candy police than the teachers. One time I had more than one M&M and she took me to the dentist for a cleaning.

– (Athony) That’s intense. Come over to my place and we can play video games and

eat all the candy you want. 

Anthony’s house was bigger than the White House. There were guards all over the place and

a whole room dedicated to gaming consoles, snacks and a freaking cotton candy machine. 

– (Lucy) Fart in my face to wake me up because I must be dreaming.

– (Athony) You are so weird. 

We played till our eyes hurt and it was the best time I’d ever had in my life. Over a dinner of greasy burgers, I told him all about my parents, how we’d moved so suddenly and how I’dnever had a normal childhood and how Dad left. 

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– (Lucy) I think Dad was a criminal or something. That’s the only logical explanation. 

– (Athony) Is that why he disappeared?

– (Lucy) Maybe. This is the best burger I’ve ever had. Mom would freak out if she saw me eating this.

– (Athony) That just shows your mom really cares about you. My Dad builds bridges and has a whole list of rules that he needs to follow strictly or people’s lives could be in danger. Your Mom is just trying to build a strong bridge. 

– (Lucy) I never really thought about it like that. Maybe Mom wasn’t so bad. 

But Anthony was so wrong because when I got home, Mom was waiting for me in the living room boiling with anger. 

– (Mom) How dare you go to a friend’s house without permission? Do I even know these people? 

– (Lucy) You’d know about my friends if you cared about anything other than your stupid rules. 

– (Mom) You’re grounded. 

I hated my life at home and Crystal was making me miserable at school. She was the student body President and was always after me for breaking some rule, which she made up herself. – – (Crystal) Ugh, I know you can’t fix your ugly face but at least have the decency not to smile. Your crooked teeth really make everyone cringe, detention. 

– (Lucy) For smiling? That isn’t against the rules. 

– (Crystal) No, but it should be for you. 

– (Lucy) Well, if I’m gonna do the time, I might as well do the crime. 

I was getting detention so often that kids in school had started calling it getting a Lucy. It was ridiculous. So I decided to get even in the most Lucy way possible. I came in super early one day, did a little dance for the security camera and drew poop Emojis all over Crystal’s locker. But why stop there? The whole school was a blank canvas. So I drew the little brown swirls on every white board and bathroom stall. The school went nuts. One of the teachers fainted. The Principal called me into her office and soon after mom showed up with Dad’s briefcase. She told me angrily to go outside for a few minutes. 

– (Crystal) You’re definitely going to get expelled, Lucy. That’s what happens when you don’t

follow the rules. 

But just then the Principal came out looking pale and sweaty. 

– (Principal) Well, Lucy, I’ve decided not to expel you. I can see you don’t do well with rules so maybe we can relax a few and make learning easy for you. 

What? I was shocked but Crystal had a full-blown meltdown. 

– (Crystal) This loser drew poop all over my locker. She can’t get away with this. I want her out, Mommy. Kick her out.

The Principal had to drag Crystal into her office because she was kicking and screaming like a five-year-old and Mom grabbed my hand and took me home for the day. 

– (Lucy) What just happened? What did you say to the Principal? Did you threaten her? What’s in that briefcase? 

– (Mom) That’s none of your business. Just keep your head down at school. I saved your butt this time, but it won’t always work.

– (Lucy) No. Maybe you’re a criminal just like Dad. I don’t trust you at all. I won’t do anything you ask until I know the truth. 

I ran out the door and went to stay with Anthony. It was the only place I felt safe. Mom kept

calling, but I ignored her calls. The next day, people in school were looking at me like I was some kind of hero. One of Crystal’s minions actually dusted my locker and opened it for me while another girl brought me coffee and offered to carry my books.  

– (Lucy) Uh, what’s going on here? Why are you guys doing this? 

– (Friend 1) Because someone finally put Crystal in her place. 

– (Friend 2) She’s no longer the student body president thanks to you. We were all so tired of her being mean to us. 

– (Lucy) Aw, shocks. But I didn’t really do anything. Thanks for the coffee but you don’t have

to do this anymore, okay? 

Life was pretty sweet after that. The teachers left me alone and Crystal’s day of ruling the school halls was over. She was always glaring at me like she was planning something evil in that petty brain of hers.

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And a few weeks later, I found out what? Someone had spray-painted poop emojis on every teacher’s car and left a giant cat turd on the Principal’s windshield. 

– (Lucy) Don’t look at me. I didn’t do it. 

– (Crystal) Then who did? You’re such a witch, Lucy. Everyone tried their best to make you straighten your ways but you’re a lost cause. Once a criminal, always a criminal.

– (Lucy) You take that back. 

– (Crystal) You’re a criminal. 

I slapped Crystal so hard that her contacts fell out. I was expelled on the spot and the teachers reported me to the police for destroying their cars. My case was being investigated and I was probably gonna end up in Juvie, but I wasn’t a criminal like Dad and I had to prove my innocence. So that night, I sneaked into the school’s security room and got all the camera footage on a USB and then ran to Anthony’s place.

– (Athony) Lucy, what happened? Why did you do that to all the teachers’ cars? 

– (Lucy) I didn’t. Someone’s framing me, and I’m gonna find out who. 

We used his laptop to look through the videos, but there were hours and hours of it and I was getting sleepy. I went to the bathroom to change into my pajamas when I saw something that made the hair on the back of my head stand up. 

– (Athony) Hey Lucy, I think I found the footage, but it’s no good. The person’s wearing a hoodie and a mask. I don’t think you’ll be able to prove it wasn’t you. 

– (Lucy) And that’s exactly what you wanted, didn’t you? 

I threw the hoodie and mask in his face. They have the same spray paint stains as the one

used to make the Emojis. He looked shocked at first but then an evil grin spread on his face. 

– (Athony) No one’s gonna believe nobody like you. They shouldn’t have believed your Dad either. 

– (Lucy) What are you talking about? What does my Dad have to do with any of this? 

– (Athony) He has everything to do with this. When you joined the school and I read your name, I knew you had to be that nosy journalist’s daughter.

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Journalist?

– (Athony) Stupid, naive Lucy. Doesn’t even know anything about her own parents.

Yes, he found some stupid evidence against my Dad for fraud and ruined his reputation. He sent him to prison and now I’m gonna send his precious daughter to jail.  Just then the door slammed open and the police rushed into the room. 

– (Policeman) Anthony, you’re under arrest for property damage.

– (Athony) What? It was her. You have no proof it was me. 

– (Principal) Actually you slipped up. I have a dashboard camera in my car and that caught your face when you were ruining it. 

– (Athony) Lucy, are you okay? 

Suddenly Mom came into the room and I was so glad to see her. I gave her a bear hug. 

– (Lucy) I was so scared, Mom. Anthony told me some weird stuff about Dad. He’s a journalist?

– (Mom) Yes, sweetie. He is a very brave man who exposes criminals and bad men in the government. People are always trying to harm him, so he had to leave the country and that’s why we moved to keep you safe. 

– (Lucy) But how did you know I was here? 

– (Mom) I know I’m gonna sound like a psycho stalker but I got your phone tracked using LOCDEFY. You weren’t picking up and I was worried about you. 

The minute I saw Anthony’s last name, I realized who he was and I knew you were in danger. 

– (Lucy) I am so glad you stalked me. I didn’t realize you were living with so much stress. And tell me now, Mom, what’s up with the briefcase? And how’d you scare the Principal? 

– (Mom) It has your father’s research and proof that he’s used to expose people. I told your principal I had dirt on her. 

– (Lucy) Do you?

– (Mom) Nah. But it scared her enough to let you stay on in school but you don’t have to go

back there. We can find you a better school. 

– (Lucy) Umm, that’s okay. 

The kids aren’t half bad there. 

– (Lucy) But when can we see Dad? 

– (Mom) I was thinking we could visit him in the summer. Would you like that? 

– (Lucy) I would love it, Mom.

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