Be Careful What You Open in Your Spam Folder!

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You know, if you’re ever bored, you ought to check out your spam folder because they’re in lies some very amusing stuff. Maybe some pleasant surprises, or maybe even a connection to a cultist gang on the other side of the world. Today I’m going to show you what’s in my spam folder. 

First, here’s an email from Costco, except I don’t know why they’re capitalizing the T and the body of the email just says you’re selected. Okay selected for what? You’re going to need to try harder than that, Costco. Next, I see a $50 gift card from Lowe’s. Well, how exciting except I click the link and I take a weird survey just to learn I don’t get a Lowe’s gift card. I get some free knockoff airpods if I just pay for shipping, except it’s not really free. I made a video on this business before and it’s shady as heck. You can learn more about it if you want to, but I’m not falling for it today. 

Next I got an email from Nadia who is looking for love in all the wrong places. Yeah, I’m going to pass on this one. Not yet, but I hope that you find a guy who respects you for who you are. 

Here’s an email saying: “Thank you for contacting spermbank.com” 

Excuse me, I’ve never contacted spermbank.com, and who is either, and why don’t you want to meet me? I guess the secret lies behind this link that they’ve sent me and I’m just as curious as you guys but don’t go clicking on links without checking them first. You can actually go to a site like urlscan.io and enter the link and it will analyze it for you and even give you a preview of what’s there before you actually click on it. But when I do it for the sperm bank website, I learned that it’s been removed because it violated some terms and conditions. Damn it, too late. That could have been a lot of fun to get to the bottom of it. 

Here’s someone who thinks my prostate is the size of a lemon and they want me to watch a video that the medical industry doesn’t want me to see. Oh, too late. It’s gone. What a shame. Hey, here’s an email from Shopify saying: “Dear custom”. Well, that’s the first red flag, learn to spell you, scammers. They go on to tell me that my bank has been disconnected and I need to regularize the situation. Yeah, sure. So I click the link and I’m warned that this looks suspicious but I say let’s click it anyway. Then I’m also going to warn that this is a deceptive site that’s going to trick me into doing something dangerous, but I want to know what these scammers have up their sleeve. Oh, their site’s already been shut down. Better luck next time you, losers. 

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Here’s an email from someone saying: “Ben, put your name on daily shirts.” Okay, who is this and how do they know my name? Apparently they have a collection of Ben shirts. Is this really a thing? Do people like to buy shirts with their name on it? I guess I’d better at least take a look. And wow, would you look at these. Ben is awesome. Check. Yes. Never underestimate Ben. An Endless Legend. Keep Calm and let Ben handle it. Okay, these are stupid, but for fun. I ended up ordering one that says no, I’m not a superhero. I’m something much more powerful. I’m Ben. And would you look what just showed up?

Well this is the ugliest thing I’ve ever worn. And if you’re like me, you’re probably wondering why you’re getting so many emails from people you don’t know. Who apparently know you? Well, it’s because your information is being sold online without you even knowing about it. You’re out there clicking on things all day signing up for free stuff. And data brokers are aggregating that info and selling it to businesses to be used as they, please. By the way, a lot of times scammers will get access to this data too. Now, the good news is that you have rights. You can tell them to delete the information that they have on you. But the bad news is that it will take you literally years to write them all one by one asking to be removed, so how about today’s sponsor Incogni do all the messy work for you. Incogni helps you protect your privacy and take your personal data off the markets by reaching out to data brokers on your behalf. All you got to do is: one, create an account and tell them whose personal data you’re requesting to have removed; two, grant them the right to work for you; and three, sit back and relax and watch them do their work. If any objections come in, Incogni, we’ll handle that for you too. The whole process is automated and it actually works. So if you don’t like your inbox, getting blown up or you don’t like the thought of your data being passed around to the highest bidder, and you probably need to give Incogni try and the first 100 people to visit my link below and sign up using my code PLEASANTGREEN will get 20% off. It’s time to declutter your life and your inbox and stay private online. So try it out today. 

All right, here’s a crazy one. A lady named Jane Williams writes me and says: “I’m pleased to inform you that your RBC Royal Bank is ready to transfer your funds. You’re required to send your banking details so that we can transfer to any of your accounts anywhere. I expect your urgent response to this email and do confirm receipt of the email. You’re advised to send the information to the bank for electronic funds. Transfer to your account immediately within 24 hours. Sincerely, Yours regards, Mrs. Jane Williams and customer services RBC bank Canada.” 

Where in the world did this come from? I guess let’s see how deep this rabbit hole goes. 

I say: “Hi, Jane. Which funds are you referring to?” 

And Jane replies. she says: “Attention: This is to acknowledge the receipt of your email please send to me your personal and bank account details for funds transfer to your account.” Okay, so she asked for my banking information because apparently she wants to send me an award from the Coca Cola Company for 12 million dollars. You know someone has fallen for this, otherwise they wouldn’t be wasting their time responding to me. But let’s play along. I just give them a fake bank account from Bank of America and I tell them to send the funds there. And if she writes back and she says: “The transfer of your funds amounting to the sum of 12 million United States dollars will take place first of May 2022.” 

Wait, what they’re really going to send me the money? Maybe I should have given them my real account. But on May 1st, I got an email from Robin Blank saying that: “The fund transfer has been completed successfully. But it’s signed by a guy named David Mckay, who I guess is the President of the Royal Bank of Canada. And he attaches a transfer slip to prove that the transfer went through. I made that bank account up, there’s no way that the transfer went through. And that’s probably why I got another email with a notice from the Department of Treasury saying: “There’s been a stop order of 12 million United States dollars in favor of Benjamin Dover” and it’s then signed by the Department of Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen. Damn it, Janet, stay out of this. So Robin or David or whoever this is, that’s fine as attached a US Department of Treasury fund transfer suspension order which came to us overnight, the United States is added again they were always giving us problem as regards fun transfer because of a few terrorists and drug dealers. Those drug dealers always ruin everything. But this person tells me: “I’m to make an urgent arrangement on how to secure the required documents as quickly as possible due to the 72 hours given by the US authority. I will send the documents requested by the US authority as soon as I receive them from your local representative to affect the release of the transferred sum into your bank account. Alternatively, I can assist you get an attorney who can assist you get the documents which normally cost the sum of $6,900. Thanks for your anticipated cooperation. Yours faithfully, David McKay.”

(To be continue…)

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